1. |
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I'll never say, 'cause you know it: I'm an anchor around your neck.
Feeding fear, I inflated into an actor with a criminal sneer.
It doesn't seem to matter if I try.
You know the truth and so do I.
Must have thought I was so much smarter, like the world was in my grasp.
And every time I saw them pairing off, walking hand in hand, I'd wish it was me, sometimes I'd wish it was you.
Guess I believed that everything in my life would just fall into place and never did.
I cried out for help, no one seemed to care, wallowing in misery and despair.
Was everything I thought I was just another phase?
Was I just another failure? No, I was never as strong as they were.
Another day, another two-bit band, I'll pick up the reins and pretend that I'm a man, but I'm just playing their game.
Stuck through to the end just to see what came.
One message received from Amory Blaine:
"I know myself," he said, "but nothing more."
The sun went south, she fled north and I crawled back into bed.
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2. |
Doing Damage (Control)
02:13
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Jealousy through the lens makes a talon start to pierce the vein.
Now, I'm being strung along; but, it's wrong to think of myself.
Because I want to be friends and I've been beating up myself a lot.
I'm here doing damage control.
I'm here 'cause of something I owe to them.
Should I abandon all hopes of being the one?
I'll be patient and wait until you come
out of hiding
and stand next to me in the sun.
I'll keep daydreaming as long as you want.
Don't be alarmed: I crave abuse.
Tear me apart, you'll be amused.
If I suffer for you, you might ask me to be your long, lost friend.
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3. |
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Mirror, mirror--
My friend so dear, you know it's always nice to see you here.
We were ugly and dumb and could never relate until they poured us a drink. We learned to commiserate.
We walk the same and talk the same, comb and cut a lock of hair the same. We have similar tastes and a similar waist size, 10 or 2 inches give or take.
WHOA (woe)
Is that the sound of a man when his favorite son has died?
Is that the sound of a girl when she sees a famous movie star?
Is that the sound of a dog with an ache in body held back by a tether?
Is that the squeal of the brakes when everything we know and love is at stake?
I thought that was the sound they named after me.
I thought it was a sound that could only be me.
Crybaby, don't be upset, they see behind your ears are all wet.
Poor Daniel saw his friends eaten alive in the name of jihad.
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4. |
Crawly, Tunnel-ly
01:56
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Either way I'm gonna lose my brain.
I'm leaving it behind for them to feast.
I fall asleep. It's not enough.
I want to dream instead of waking up.
Don't wanna show my face today.
Now and again I'm numb to their bites.
The weather sweet and warm, the vermin nudge like pets.
It's not real! Do I believe I have died to provide their feast?
Not gonna show my face today.
Tunnelling in, under my skin.
Eating away and staking their claims.
Your humble host is pleased to inform that you'll always be safe, you'll always be warm.
The tunnel is deep and it's long.
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5. |
That's Helium-Filled Me
02:08
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You'll see that this ghost weighs in on a doctor's scale.
Full of salt and shit, I'm an ocean, I'm a sea of sobs.
Impossible to learn to love myself when something else always gets in the way.
Sure, it was nice to meet you, but I'd better leave.
Then I can only reveal what you wanna see.
There's never enough room in this bed or to breathe.
That's helium-filled me.
We lie awake until the sun comes through our door.
Oh, honey put your gun away at least until I am gone.
Bereaved or quite deranged? We never know these things for sure.
Honey, put your gun away at least until I am gone.
I won't walk another line for you, not for you.
Have too much time to waste and I don't wanna waste it with you.
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6. |
Echo Come Back!
01:53
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Each time I see you I'm frozen up.
I'll never repeat and you'll never know.
Don't make me ask you, I'm bored enough.
I'll break the curse of this eternal son.
Oh, hello! I fell for what?
An idea in a rut.
I'm gonna waste my life today and think about you.
I'm gonna lie on my back and think about you and everything else I can never be a part of. You and everyone else that I don't need.
So goodbye.
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7. |
O, Sultry St. Opossom
03:58
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And where's the tall-tale soul
to interfere with the fumbling flesh
when I am tempted and ready to taste?
Those meals starve me so.
Sometimes I wanna claw out my eyes
and just take what's mine.
But I lock myself away, throw away the key
sit and safely watch through the screen
and wonder if I'm too comfortable to feel this sick.
Your blood runs so cold.
The eyes of a reptile I can see for sure.
Go on, lure me in. Will I stomp you out well before you begin?
When I wake up today, will I have the will to change?
Will I find an excuse, another scapegoat to blame?
Wild-eyed, fit to be tied to a noose.
Stay through the night, love:
anesthetize me well.
Lame like a lion thirsty for shade and hungry for blood.
You can play dead if you be still.
Bury your head. Swallow your pills.
HELP ME.
Where is my mother?
I am her son.
This is not me, but what I've become.
Shaped by the beast and its lying hand.
Its touch is my own to my disbelief.
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Fambly Ablum Portland, Oregon
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